How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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