We should be called the Road Head Warriors
birth control should be required to get into college
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
