I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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