There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
