Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
