I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
