Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
