I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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