They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
