I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize