8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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