just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
