So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
