What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
