So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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