how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my poor anus
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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