why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
