yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
