CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
