I can feel you judging me through the phone.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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