I wannas sexs uuuuu
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
