Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
