And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize