i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
