No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
