I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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