I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
