ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
