I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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