Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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