I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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