So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
