I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
