I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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