I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
