I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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