he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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