bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
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Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
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captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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