awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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