i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
