I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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