Porn is love you can see.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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