bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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