.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
