I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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