I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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