Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
