So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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