What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
