you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
