O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize