I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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