Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
