So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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