i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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