my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize