What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
