Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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