Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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