I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize